booyakasha! here iz sum quotes fom da sho.
Talking to Sue Ramsey. A member of the assembly of Sinn Fein...
Ali : Wot is it the language that they speak 'ere?
Sue : Gaelic.
Ali : GAY-LICK? What is that botty language or somfin, what is the real name of it?
Ali : What is the vibe with drugs in Ireland? It might be stereotyping or whatever man but I is heard that the Irish is always up for the
crack.
Sue : No, no. Crack in Ireland means having a good time.
Ali : A'ight, for real but crack is a bad drug there is a high but also a low.
Talking to the Lord Mayor of Ireland...
Ali : Me don't know what going on 'ere.
Mayor : Well there are some people in Ireland who want to become a part the United Ireland and then there are people who would like to become a part of United Kingdom.
Ali : And where does Wogan stand? Is he in the IRA?
Education with Rhodes Boyson...
Ali : What is education.
Rhodes : Education is basic literacy and numeracy.
Ali : And what is they?
Ali : What do you reckon about the Maffs.
Rhodes : What, the Maths?
Ali : Ayyy. Do you rate tha Maffs or do you rock tha Maffs?
Rhodes : What is the Maffs?
Ali : You know. One, two, three or whatever.
Rhodes : I see, yes.
Ali : Well why don't they teach propa Maffs in schools?
Rhodes : What do you mean by propa Maths?
Ali : Instead of teaching kilos and grams, why don't the teach ounces,
quarters and eighths?
Rhodes : Yes, I mean in baking you need to know those terms.
Ali : Ayyy, for real. Me know baking.
Rhodes : I bake my own breakfast every morning.
Ali : Ayyy. An me make ME own breakfast an all. I mean who ever bought a kilo of anything man. Except me mate Dave but he's gone down now.
Ali : Do you think we should have mixed schools?
Rhodes : I think that everyone should have the choice.
Ali : Do you not think that in mixed schools, all the boyz will spend all their time chasing muff, and all the girls spend all their time
preparing their muff?
Ali : Well me, me got an A+ in punani but me fail me exams coz me spend all me time chasing the kitty.
Rhodes : Well that's your fault.
Rhodes : I think, overall, single sex schools perform better than mixed ones.
Ali : But do you not think that single sex girls schools bread, well, people who drink from the furry cup?
Rhodes : Well never having drunk from the furry cup one doesn't know what liquor is kept in it.
Ali : Well you know them girls who drink from the furry cup, also, eat from the bushy plate. You know what I is getting at?
Ali : Do you think sex education should be taught in schools?
Rhodes : No, it should be taught within the family.
Ali : Do you think that porn stars should teach the kids?
Rhodes : No
Ali : Why not?
Rhodes : I do not respect them.
Ali : But they has had more experience than anyone, man. Someone who has had a four header will no how to cope with any situation.
Ali : Well you have shown that, Education should be spread throughout the nation, if we want to get into the space station. Wicked, reespect, boyaka-sha, big up.
The Bishop of Corsham...
Ali : Jesus. Does he really have a beard?
Bish : Not necessarily.
Ali : Is he a man or a woman?
Bish : He's neither a man nor woman.
Ali : Wot? you mean he's a ladyman?
Ali : But wot has god ever done.
Bish : He made the world.
Ali : Wot he made the world?
Bish : Yes.
Ali : Did he?
Bish : I can only tell you what I believe.
Ali : So you saying god made the world? And since then he's just chilled.
Ali : What about the Virgin Mary? Is she really a virgin?
Bish : Yes.
Ali : Was she really?
Bish : I believe she was. She found herself pregnant.
Ali : But me know girls who also find themselves pregnant. There muffa's say wotz been 'appening 'ere. They say "listen, you been mucking about? 'Ave you been drunk maybe? Don't lie to me."
Talking to James Whittaker about Princess Di...
Ali : Why was she nobbing that Pakistani?
James: He wasn't a Pakistani he was an Egyptian.
Ali : A'ight...
James : She fell in love with him and she had a summer romance.
Ali : Will Carr-mella ever be queen?
James : Camilla?
Ali : A'ight Carr-mella.
James : I think she will.
Ali : Do you think that a lot of the objection to Camilla is because she is so minging?
James : So *what*?
Ali : So minging.
James : What does minging mean?
Ali : Her face is very.. ugly. NO me didn't wanna say that.. she's RANK.
She's rank.
James : Most women in this country...
Ali : A'ight - are a bit dodgy.
James : Well no, being compared to Diana who was a very beautiful...
Ali : She was tasty.
James : Very tasty - so you put anybody up against Diana and it's a wee bit of a problem. She is also a very fit woman. She rides well -
Ali : She 'aint fit man!
James : No this isn't Diana I understand Prince Charles as well -
Ali : But she look like Rod Hull.
Ali : She does man.. what do you think about Fergie?
James : I think she is a... decent person -
Ali : Did they not find pictures of her sucking someone's nob or something?
James : No they wouldn't find pictures like that - you're referring to sucking someone's toes or having her toes sucked...
Ali : A'ight but they used the word toe.. they used the word toe
James : NO.. er watch it... naughty!
Women
Ali : Boyaka-sha. Check dis. Today we is talking about the women. I is with none other than Sue Leetch. She be none other than director of the centre for gender research and we is going to talking about ladies.
Now, one in two people in the country is "a women", so we has got to know about this. Women. They is important aren't they?
Sue : They indeed are, very important, as important as men.
Ali : Which is better? Man or Woman?
Sue : Well equality is not about who is better.
Ali : But which one is better? But one must be just a little bit better.
Sue : In what way?
Ali : Like, in the way that somefin is worse and somfin is better.
Ali : Do you think there will ever be a female Prime Minister?
Sue : There has been one.
Ali : Who?
Sue : Mrs. Thatcher.
Ali : Yeah but she wasn't a real Prime Minister. Do you think they'll ever let another one slip through?
Ali : Do you think that a women should be able to 'av any job?
Sue : I think so yeah.
Ali : Yeah, but would you feel safe thought if you new a women was flying your plane.
Sue : Would you feel safe then? Do you feel safe being driven by a women?
Ali : Nope. Would you not be scared though that she might start nattering or what ever or start finking about fings and then forget to
fly the plane, and get angry with somebody?
Ali : A lot of boys me know are trying to get their girlfriend to try a bit of feminism, do you think that if right?
Sue : Yeah I do actually I think it's a good thing.
Ali : Do you think all girls should try feminism at least once? Do you think it's right that they should try it when they is drunk at a party or what ever with one of their mates?
Sue : What is trying feminism?
Ali : You know try a bit of feminism and when they is sober wake up in the morning and get back with their boyfriend?
Sue : What do you mean?
Ali : When they kiss a women.
Ali : Me uncle Jamal say that he is tri-sexual. That he will try anything that is sexual. What does that mean?
Sue : There are a lot of people who would like to have sexual relationships with men and women.
Ali : So you think that he is saying that he is having it with blokes?
Sue : Yes.
Ali : Ayyy?
Sue : It would suggest that or that he is interested in it, but maybe not done it. It depends what done it means.
Ali : So you fink my uncle Jamal is a botty boy?
Sue : I don't think he is a botty boy but...
Ali : So you think that he just like it in both pipes?
Sue : Not necessarily.
Ali : So you think that it is a joke? Coz he is a joker. Coz if you call him that to his face he'd probably kill ya.
Ali in an Art Gallery looking at Paintings...
Ali : Who be dis cheeky lickle lady?
Guide : It's a friend of Van Gough
Ali : She look like she just been having??
Guide : She doesn't look very happy.
Ali : Perhaps she just been taken up the wrong 'en or something?
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